Sunday, February 21, 2016

Larry's Latest Laughs #216

Science and Superheros: how close are we to creating real superpowers? Close, my wife tells me she knows what I'm thinking before I do.

I'd like to thank the Facebook friends who shared their friendship videos. I found four people who owe me money.

The German Short Haired Pointer won Best in Show at the Westminster Dog Show. When asked how it felt out there, the dog replied, "Ruff."

Happy Almond Day! You can pronounce it with or without the "L". It's nuts.

An exorcist claims that "beautiful women" are more likely to be possessed by demons. He went on to say, "But don't get me wrong, other women can be, too. I just don't care."

Thousands of blacktip sharks are gathering off the coast of Florida. The presidential primaries are in Florida next month, coincidence?

In a dream my room was dark and a weird man in a moustache was sneaking up on me to suffocate me with my pillow. Fearfully I struggled. I fought him off and awoke screaming, "Damn you Mike Lindell!."

Happy Mailman Day! Thank him for the forever stamps, as long as they last.

The worlds most advanced robot piano can now play any song ever recorded. Music lovers everywhere rejoiced when it refused to play Nickelback.

and finally,

North Korea yet again defied UN resolutions and fired another rocket causing outrage from its members. They issued this statement:
"We're Morally, Ethically,
Spiritually, Physically,
Undeniably and reliably outraged.
And as head of the UN I must aver, I thoroughly examined it.
And we're not only merely outraged, we're really most sincerely outraged."