Sunday, September 18, 2016

Larry's Latest Laughs #169

Scientists claim two dolphins have been recorded having a conversation just like people. They argued over which wine goes best with fish.

The Spice Girls are having a reunion tour but Sporty Spice and Posh Spice are two busy. Add Caitlyn Jenner. Call him Old Spice.

Some researchers now claim trees are able to communicate with each other. Scientists doing the study say trees can get angry but their bark is worst then their bite.

 A fight broke out on a Florida shuffleboard court when an 81-year-old man allegedly struck another with a shuffleboard cue. The men got angry when one couldn't find where the disc landed and the other couldn't remember why they were looking.

Walmart is now working on a self-driving shopping cart. When the wheel starts to wobble it will hobble down the aisle, trailing behind you, making noise.

Now researchers say major earthquakes are caused by the moon? Whose?

Hunters in Iceland found a 1000-year old Viking sword. Scientists claim it's extremely valuable. More so if it was pulled from a stone.

Happy Linguine Day!
If you don't have linguine,
Don't be up-setti.
All it is,
is flat spaghetti....


Sunday, September 4, 2016

Nice Guys Finish Last

By: Larry Hyatt

            There once was a very nice guy. So nice was he, that his niceness could be calculated, manipulated, and used for devious means.

            Each day on his way home from work a man would stop him and ask for help. And, each day the guy would take the extra time to the point of getting home late. He couldn’t, in his heart, resist. But, unbeknownst to him it was twins taking turns, keeping him from going home so the other could spend time with his wife.

            This went on for fourteen days because after two weeks the twins thought it would be smart to use disguises. They surmised that no one is so extremely nice that they would stop and help the same man every day for two weeks. It worked. The nice guy continued to help and would always get home about an hour late to his wife.

            On the twenty-first day, disguised as someone else, one of the twins lost his fake mustache that was attached to his face. He then became angry at the nice guy because he knew that he’d been caught. "You are stupid! You are an idiot! Why would you let us make a fool out of you?"
            “I have to be nice. It is my nature,” said the guy.  “It’s who I am and I can’t resist.”

            “I've never heard of such a thing," said the Twin. "You are absolutely the nicest man I know. I had no idea someone in this devious world could be that loving.”

             “I can’t help myself. I am compelled to do what people ask,” said the nice guy. “But now I must answer your question. I figured out the scheme when you two started wearing the disguises and told my twin brother. For a week now, he's been banging both of your wives.”