Last night I had a dream. I fell into a gorilla enclosure and they couldn't decide who to shoot.
A heart transplant patient, for 17 months, carried his heart around in a backpack. Through the marriage my ex-wife carried hers in an ice-chest.
A bicycle theft in a Walmart parking lot was foiled when a cattle rancher on horseback chased the thief down and lassoed him. An eye witness said the cowboy hog tied the guy’s legs, raised his hands, and yelled “Schwinn.”
Tomorrow, Wicca, the religious cult of modern witchcraft will call attention to 6-6-16. To protect myself I'm going to spend the day in one of their baskets.
Donald Trump has narrowed the VP field down to five. On the short list...Chewbacca Mom.
Another Disney worker went on a booze-fueled rampage. They're now going to make them get in line to do that.
PGA Tour golfer pulled out of a tournament because of "incredible anxiety." Like the time I stepped up to make a shot and the ducks in the park put on crash helmets.
In Wales, a group of sheep went on a rampage after ingesting cannabis. I guess it was a "Baaad" trip.
Archaeologists have discovered the tomb of Greek philosopher Aristotle. Written on the wall was his last great quote... "Life Sucks - Then You Die."