Saturday, May 21, 2016

Larry's Latest Laughs #516

Congratulations to the lovely couple. I just heard Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps and his girlfriend had a new baby buoy.

Iran has accused Kim Kardashian of being a secret agent to bring down their culture. Her code name is "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk."

Astrological eating will be the next big food fad. People who have tried the diet say Centaurs taste a lot like chicken.

This morning on C-96.7, we'll talk about a guy in Ireland who swallowed his cell phone. I'll let you know how it worked out.

Happy Accounting Day!
I once received a love poem from an accountant. It started, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways."

A small robot doctor, in a pill, can be swallowed and sent on medical missions in the body. The mission is not over till the paper work is done.

Morley Safer is retiring from CBS after 46 years. He said his retirement will come in intervals of sixty minutes.

Today is Windmill Day! Thinking about it makes my head spin.

Ozzy and Sharon Osborne are getting a divorce. Sharon asked for privacy. Ozzy asked for something too, but no one can figure out what he said.

Happy Museum Day!
Tonight have double the fun. See "Night at the Museum" tonight at the museum.