Monday, June 19, 2017

Larry's Latest Laughs #189

Justin Thomas shot a record 9-under par at the 2017 US Open on Saturday. Yet, when I go up to take a shot, the ducks in the park put on crash helmets.

Forest Bathers, are part of a growing movement that believes immersing oneself in nature has unexpected medical benefits. So what you're telling me, is, "Go, take a hike?"

Unable to pay its bills, Illinois is telling firms to halt road work. The crews will now have to sit on their as-phalt.

A Virginia high school included the picture of a student's service dog in the year book. It was the least they could do for eating the guys homework every day.

Iceland is slowly being torn apart by constant earthquakes...They call the big one... Fruzanbiginfrocken.

Chanel is selling a high-priced boomerang for $1,930 as part of their luxury collection. Finally, money my wife can't throw away.

A blogger is suing the Food Network for stealing her signature recipe. The judge said he will try the case... with a roasted Chateaubriand, with a red-wine, and creamed mushroom sauce.

A group of mummies were found in Lithuania, with some almost completely preserved and life like, as if they were just sitting around, trying to unwind.

The latest ridiculous food trend to hit the internet —pickle juice soda. It tastes a lot like Coke-a-cola Vlasic.

I hear the new iphone-8 will be made of glass. You should see the colorful one my priest ordered.

Thirty-five hundred people will attend the Dutch funeral expo to dig up the latest in death trends. I think I'll join them in the morning.

Bob Marley's grandson has signed a contract to play in the NFL. They'll have to come up with a new penalty, illegal use of the turf.

A new study finds that being skinny is linked to depression. It reminds me of the time I lost all that weight, and I found out I really didn't have a pretty face.

Scientists are now growing eye cells to repair corneas, a major source of vision problems and blindness. I would think they saw that coming.