Larry's Latest Laughs #174

My wife started "aggressive" yoga classes which incorporates cardio, CrossFit and boxing to get fitness results. After she was through she beat the hell out of me with the mat.

There is now a head set that records brain waves and then composes original music to uplift its users. I put mine on and all I kept hearing was the dinner bell.

A Shanghai building now has the fastest elevator in the world. It goes up at 40 MPH. It's so fast, you get to the top floor before the music does.

Wal-mar Stores Inc is jumping into car sales through partnership with dealership groups. The cars will now come with kids crying in the back seat.

Police in India have recovered more than 6,000 freshwater turtles that were to be smuggled to Southeast Asia. One Indian official said, "We could have recovered more but in the beginning it was slow going."

You can know get pain relief with the touch of a button. It's a gadget that zaps you numb. I put it in my seat cushion when my mother-in-law comes to visit.

This could be fake new but I read the Podium is boycotting the inaugural.

On Saturday, the Satanic Temple of Los Angels held their biggest event ever: a massive satanic mass. It was either that or a bunch of lawyers.

So, do you think congress will repeal the bill to repeal the bill they didn't read before they passed it?

Scientists in Massachusetts have now grown a full size beating heart from stem cells. The mayor of San Francisco said, "That's nothing. People around here have been tripping over them for years."

A new study examines nature's trade-offs: Brawn v. Brains and Looks v. Loyalty....Love v. Money? Older people have that one figured out.

A McDonald's at the Vatican. "Would you like a Rosary with that."

Terrebonne Parish officials commemorated the opening of the newly refurbished women's jail with a ribbon cutting ceremony and guided tours. White shrimp boots were the new black.