There I was, driving at the bottom of the tunnel in Kat-mandu
with my girlfriend Apathy, and oh boy what fun that was.
I remember asking, “What the hell is a dog doing down
here?” She said, “I don’t give a shit,” and I swerved into the other lane but a
cat was there and I nailed it. I freaked out. She, of course didn’t.
The sound was deafening, a cat squeal, and being me I
was curious so I stopped for a cats scan.
I got out of the car and walked back to the catastrophe
and as I was looking over the mangled cat, the guy who was in the car behind me
thought that I had crushed the cat on purpose, which is how I ended up with the
rap. He told somebody, who told somebody, and now I can’t go anywhere. Well,
anywhere you find cats.
It wasn’t a good day. There, on the ground was a dead cat
and when people started to gather I asked Apathy to go get something to discard
the carcass. What the hell does she come back with? It was a freakin’ shopping
bag.
Look, I got a lot of stuff to be curious of and killing a
cat is way down at the bottom of the page, but in no way, am I going to be seen
putting a cat, “In the bag.” I’m not smitten for a kitten, so I got out of
there.
Driving away I thought Inquisitiveness should have been
behind the wheel. Maybe he would have
just leaned forward into the dashboard, trying to figure out what to do, and now the catch phrase would be “Inquisitiveness killed the dog.” But, that
wouldn’t have worked. Dog gone it. Oh, wait.
I wish I didn’t kill something, especially something so
mysterious, something so like me. I’ve always wanted to know what makes a cat
misunderstood. What is it that makes a cat climb a tree and laugh when humans
call the fire department and I’d really love to know what happen to all the old
cats, the ones in those pictures playing with yarn, or the ones at my
girlfriend’s house looking from across the room thinking, “You’re curious but I’m
staying here with Apathy.”
Garfield, Felix, Wilshire, and especially that black cat
with the wide eyes that go back and forth, the one with the clock in its belly,
what is it that makes you tick?
We
may never know. I’m sorry, but then again, It’s a dog eat dog world.
