There I was, driving at the bottom of the tunnel in Kat-mandu with my girlfriend Apathy, and oh boy what fun that was.
I remember asking, “What the hell is a dog doing down here?” She said, “I don’t give a shit,” and I swerved into the other lane but a cat was there and I nailed it. I freaked out. She, of course didn’t.
The sound was deafening, a cat squeal, and being me I was curious so I stopped for a cats scan.
I got out of the car and walked back to the catastrophe and as I was looking over the mangled cat, the guy who was in the car behind me thought that I had crushed the cat on purpose, which is how I ended up with the rap. He told somebody, who told somebody, and now I can’t go anywhere. Well, anywhere you find cats.
It wasn’t a good day. There, on the ground was a dead cat and when people started to gather I asked Apathy to go get something to discard the carcass. What the hell does she come back with? It was a freakin’ shopping bag.
Look, I got a lot of stuff to be curious of and killing a cat is way down at the bottom of the page, but in no way, am I going to be seen putting a cat, “In the bag.” I’m not smitten for a kitten, so I got out of there.
Driving away I thought Inquisitiveness should have been behind the wheel. Maybe he would have just leaned forward into the dashboard, trying to figure out what to do, and now the catch phrase would be “Inquisitiveness killed the dog.” But, that wouldn’t have worked. Dog gone it. Oh, wait.
I wish I didn’t kill something, especially something so mysterious, something so like me. I’ve always wanted to know what makes a cat misunderstood. What is it that makes a cat climb a tree and laugh when humans call the fire department and I’d really love to know what happen to all the old cats, the ones in those pictures playing with yarn, or the ones at my girlfriend’s house looking from across the room thinking, “You’re curious but I’m staying here with Apathy.”
Garfield, Felix, Wilshire, and especially that black cat with the wide eyes that go back and forth, the one with the clock in its belly, what is it that makes you tick?We may never know. I’m sorry, but then again, It’s a dog eat dog world.