Today is Super Bowl Sunday. Here are some rules if you’re throwing a Super Bowl party. If you’re inviting someone to your house, don’t screw it up.
Play a drinking
game. When the announcer mentions the words “deflated”, those who drink should
take a sip. It must only be used when referring to the football, not when
referencing the cheerleaders.
It’s a given. One
of the teams will score right before the end of the quarter, half, or end of
the game, pissing off a person at the party who had those numbers in a pool. If
someone else has the new numbers, they should pretend to sympathize till one of
them leave the room.
The referees will
completely screw up a call. When instant replay overturns it, “try” to get your
guests to get over it and move on. It’s a game. I did say, “try.”
brings a dish to your party make sure everyone brings something expensive or something
that took a long time to make. I’m having a party and thought I should throw that
If women are at
your party, Tom Brady’s looks and his supermodel wife will come into play. Men,
please, get ahead of this. Explain that the cute quarterback, if he loses, is going
home to a freaking supermodel.
If the game is a
blow out, everyone except Colorado is screwed.
7. Don’t be
perplexed when at least one announcer during the game says that every player on
the field is the “Best player in the league” ignoring the fact he can’t explain
why a team can lose at all.
8. If anyone is watching
only for the commercials, tell them, shame, shame, shame. You could have seen those
on the internet.
9. Belichick will
cheat. You just won’t know how.
10. A wardrobe malfunction is something you can
wish for. Hell, it's Katy Perry.