Christmas 2012

Last night I had a crazy dream.

It was cold and dark and as I walked through my neighborhood I was scared, the weather whipping against my body felt old and familiar but not comforting, it was the pressures of life and no one was around to help me. My coat was tattered, hanging, and with my arms folded in front of me, my head was down to keep winter off my face. Pushing, I seemed to be searching for something but didn’t know what or why.
Suddenly, a gust of wind lifted my head and stopped me in my tracks. There, standing next to me was a snowman, a pleasant Christmas decoration with a happy smile, but it upset me.
“What? You’re mocking me?” I yelled. “You think everyone is happy at Christmas? Wipe that stupid smile off your face!”
I reached back and as I went to slap that carrot nose he came to life. I was taken aback. My eyes widened, frighten I stood still.
The snowman then removed his scarf and sticking out his hands presented it for me to take. I backed up instead. He then raised it, slightly, as if to say, “Here, it’s yours.”
Cautiously, I took the steps toward him and reached out, took the scarf and as I quickly proceeded to wrap it around my neck his arm moved and pointed down the street. I didn’t know what to do so I dipped my head in gratitude and walked on following his direction, noticing the cracks on the sidewalk.
The wind was still blowing and I felt better but it was still bitter cold. Onward I trekked, once again keeping my head down to spare my face, when another gust of wind blew, pushing my head again. There, next to me were more decorations; these of a Children’s choir with hymnals in hand, singing, dressed in their Christmas clothes, bundled and warm. The choir came alive and I jumped back as it began the song “Joy to The World,” the loud boisterous rendition startling me. I smiled in amusement and as the choir sang, I watched as a little girl removed her earmuffs and handed them to a little boy. The little boy then removed his gloves and handed the articles to me. Politely, he said “Merry Christmas, sir,” and pointed down the street.
Again, I dipped my head in appreciation and moved on till I came to a house with decorations in the yard depicting presents under a Christmas tree. One of the presents was lit brighter than the others and I noticed it was set apart. I walked toward it and written on the box was my name. I was shocked. I thought, “This can’t be. This must be a coincidence. I don’t know these people.”
Suddenly, the box started moving and I retreated. It shook, violently, as if ready to erupt and with a loud pop a “Jack in the Box,” popped out with an overcoat in his out stretched arms. I fell backwards to the ground. It scared the living daylights out of me.
I took a moment and on all fours I slowly crept to the Jack in the Box. I grabbed the coat but this time started running, putting the coat on as I went. When I got far enough away I slowed down, now nice and warm with my new scarf, gloves, earmuffs and coat. I couldn’t believe my luck. I was ready to find more. What more could I get? Maybe I can find that snowman and get his hat.
Walking again, now with my head up, in the distance I saw a house with what looked like more decorations. This time I ran to it, elated that I would find more. As I got closer, comprehending what was coming into view, I slowed my pace. I was humbled when I realized it was a life-sized nativity scene with a manger, Mary and Joseph beside it, the animals, wise men, all real, all alive and to my astonishment the baby Jesus lying in a manger, the light upon him blinding. I shielded my eyes and now felt not worthy to receive him.
Staring, I felt others, and upon looking behind me saw a sea of people, all nationalities, admiring the beauty of the light, the power of it, reminding me my gifts were his gifts to me. I reached my hand out slowly, wanting to touch the brightness. I was just about to put my hand in the light when I felt my shoulders shake, and heard…
“Larry, Larry, wake up, you’re having a dream.”
Noticing I was in my room I realized it was my wife.
“Are you all right?” she asked. “You were dreaming.”
“Yeah, Yeah, I’m OK… Man that was weird. I was… talking to decorations… they were coming to life. Oh man, that was strange.”
“You scared me, Larry. You kept screaming, “I’m not worthy. I’m not worthy.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Wow… Well… I’m Ok now… Go back to sleep, Honey.”
“Don’t do that again,” she said looking into my eyes.
I smiled and trying to comfort said, “I’m alright. I’m fine. I’m OK.”
I turned to the wall and shut my eyes and while remembering the dream I thought about my life. My eyes opened again and I asked the wall, “Am I worthy?”