North Pole: In a bid to insure better working conditions in 2013, Sparky Sparkle, Union President of The American Elf on a Shelf Union, pulled a daring and unprecedented move yesterday and threatened to not inform Santa about the millions of children who were naughty or nice this year.
Mr. Sparkle, making his comments known to Santa moments before his ride, caught the usually jolly ole’ St. Nick completely off guard thinking a new contract was in the works.
Sparkle was quoted as saying, “My people are small but mighty and the hazards of falling off shelves, ceiling fans, and the like, not to mention falling off the fiscal cliff, added unexpected occurrences such as children’s Mayan Apocalypse fears, and the continuing use of our members in embarrassing, risqué, and some downright vulgar situations compel me to take this action.”
Santa was rumored as confused by such a dramatic move from such a happy go lucky creature and possibly felt it was the opening of the Hobbit movie that sparked Sparkle to take drastic action.
Santa explained, “When all was said and done, I was extremely happy I got the list in time for all the children of the United States to experience the Christmas they deserve. I also hope Mr. Sparkle and Barbie enjoy their time together.”
This and more later today…