Big and Tall

            The other day I was shopping at Houma’s Big and Tall Men’s Store. I tried on one of their suits. I liked the way it fit but the clerk said, “You’re not tall enough to wear that suit.” I thought, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

            It was way too long in the sleeves, and the pants had an extra two inches, but that’s how I roll. That’s how I make my statement. You heard of “Pants on the ground.” I go after “Hems, on the floor.” I also call my look, “Hands up the sleeve.” So I’m suing.

            That clerk had no right to tell me that I can’t buy his merchandise. This is America, last time I checked, a free country. I’m being denied my right as a short person to purchase what that store has to offer.

            That clerk accused me of, “SWTS- Shopping while too, short.” I plan on owning that entire store when I’m done, and my lawyer, he’s a big ass Mo-Fo, and he’s going to be the best dressed fat lawyer in Houma, I mean, round lawyer. Take that, suckers. You pissed off the wrong guy.